


4 AM

by Anderlin_Golden



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Loneliness, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-15 05:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20860919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anderlin_Golden/pseuds/Anderlin_Golden
Summary: Nights like this made it hard to not consider slipping off into the night, wandering into the woods behind his house, disappear for a few hours, maybe a few days, just to see. See if anyone will notice.Or Steve cant sleep because he feels alone.





	4 AM

**Author's Note:**

> It really is 4 am and I needed to vent. This is set somewhere between season 2 and 3, but doesn't really have any spoilers. This is also my first time posting ever, so there's that.  
Welcome to a pretty depressing bunch of words that aren't being double checked.  
Also, welcome to what might be the start of terrible short stories from me from now on.

It wasn't like his day had been that terrible. Okay, maybe it had, maybe Robin had put 4 more tallies under the You Suck column, maybe it was because the kids were all too busy with their own things, or it was just the fact that he came home to an empty house yet again and the lights in the kitchen flickered for a second. Sure, he panicked for a minute and grabbed his bat before he realised it was just the bulb and not something from the place he didn't want to think about anymore.

Now, here he was, 4 am, still not asleep, staring at the ceiling like it held all the secrets to the world that he had yet to figure out. He sat up for what must have been the millionth time, a dead stare at nothing in particular. Sure, he wasn't the only one that must be dealing with these feelings, Jonathan and Nancy had been there the first time, in the Byers house. He wasn't alone in those tunnels, the kids had all been there with him, but after it all happened, they all had each other. They all talked together, spent time together, mostly in Mikes basement. He had no one.

Steve groaned as he pulled himself out of bed, heading out of his room and down to the kitchen for what must have been the 10th time already, carrying his still half full glass of water to refill, yet again. You would think he would be used to the loneliness at this point, with his parents always off in another city, another state, another country. Yet, here he was, staying in his quiet kitchen in his even quieter house staring at the curtains to the backyard that always stayed closed, and he could feel himself starting to crumble, holding onto the counter with white knuckles as he sank to the floor. He could feel himself hiccuping through his sobs, tears flowing freely from his face and soaking into his sweater. How could he be so dumb to think that after everything that happened, he would sudden not be alone. What, was everyone suddenly going to start caring about him because he swung a bat at a monster or took a punch at some asshole?

Nights like this made it hard to not consider slipping off into the night, wandering into the woods behind his house, disappear for a few hours, maybe a few days, just to see. See if anyone will notice, if anyone would look for him. Maybe Robin would notice because he didn't show up for his shift, or Dustin because he didn't answer the walkie. But would they try to look for him, or think he was just ditching them, ignoring them. 

Nights like this were hard because he just wanted to fade away. Fade away into nothing, leave it all behind, instead of holding onto the counter like it was the only anchor while he cried his heart out in an empty house. He could only hope that all the crying he was doing would exhaust him enough that he could actually get some sleep, maybe he would even fall asleep in the kitchen again.

It took a while, but the sobs finally died down, only leaving him feeling even more numb then he did when he came down the stairs from his room. Glancing at the clock, only a half hour had passed. Taking a deep breath, Steve refilled his water glass and made the trek back up to his room at a snail's pace, keeping his eyes down at his socked feet as he climbed the stairs, sitting the glass on the bed side table before he climbed under the covers. Tomorrow, he would smile at Robins jokes, maybe the Party would come by scoops to see him even if it was just to sneak into a movie, maybe he wouldn't feel so alone for just a minute. But nights like this made him wish he wasn't even there to begin with.

**Author's Note:**

> Main tumblr:  
Scarythingsarestrange.tumblr.com  
Stranger things/harringrove side blog:  
sharringrove.tumblr.com


End file.
